History Mystery: The Bermuda Triangle

Hello history-addicts!  I know it’s been a long time, but your overwhelming support in the comment section (okay, you’re not all supporters, but even Shakespeare had critics ).  Hopefully this week’s post won’t be so controversial.

• The Bermuda Triangle is a large area that covers parts of the Caribbean Sea, and the Florida Strait. 
• The first mystery about the triangle is that it isn’t even a triangle at all!  For years scientists were fooled into studying the wrong shape.  Recent developments just found a fourth corner lending the area a more rectangular shape.  Learn your geometry, sillies!
• The Bermuda Triangle has all sorts of weird effects on magnets.  Compasses have been known to go around in circles forcing travelers to spin in place and get really dizzy and sick.  Then everyone starts vomit, but since they are still spinning around the vomit goes all over the place like one of those spigot sprinkler systems.  Talk about a mess!
• Advanced electronics are also effected by the mystical forces of the Triangle.  iPhones will lose service for hours and refuse to send out text messages.  Oh wait that’s everywhere!!! Haha, just kidding iPhone readers.
• Reports reveal several different occasions when those traveling in the Triangle zone developed huge boners that lasted for over fifteen hours.  Talk about a stiff drink!
• Countless flights and boats have disappeared over the years in the Triangle region resulting in the presumed deaths of hundreds.  Government officials would have us believe an uneducated mass of ocean could just happen to cause this, but if you actually study the footage and trace the money you’ll find that in no other time in history has this happened before.  Government officials have costly been looking for a pretext for war with the Bermuda Triangle.  To date, there has been no formal study looking at the link between the Bermuda Triangle and the events of September 11, 2001. 

Well that’s a quick look into the Bermuda Triangle. 

The Bermuda Triangle:  Triangular? No.  WiFi-equipped? Check later. History?  Definitely!

Chicago’s Lost Chocolate Bridge

Hi ho, historians!!! Today’s “History in Action” (or HIA for those you in the know) may end up leading to a trip to the dentist, because it sure is sweet! Now you HIA readers living in the “Windy City” are probably quite familiar with the chocolate smell that the Blommer Chocolate Co. factory in the West Loop produces to the delight of many (there has been a legal battle, more on that here). What you may not realize is that Chicago’s love affair with sweets actually produced a chocolate bridge!!! That’s right–a bridge made of chocolate. Grab your history hats and let’s travel back to 1927.

From the Chicago Tribune dated June 15, 1927:

The scene on Deerborn street is one of hysteria as thousands gather for the ribbon cutting of a new bridge that will connect the near north side to downtown. Unlike the growing number bridges criss-crossing the Chicago River, this bridge is unique – it is constructed entirely out of chocolate. Who can Chicago thank for this strange addition to the cityscape? None other than Alphonse Gabriel Capone, better known as Al “Scarface” Capone, hero to many working class residents of Chicago. The bridge is fully funded by Capone, who has gone on record, stating he wanted to, “bestow a gift to the common man.” The bridge is completely functional and edible. Though the project has the approval of the Mayor’s office (though funded by Capone, it is still considered a municipal designate), several officials have condemned the project calling it wasteful, ridiculous, and potentially dangerous. The bridge’s architect, Woodrow Pierce, has defended the bridge against critics. When asked of the inherent problem a bridge that is being eaten presents, Pierce explained that, “gobs of chocolate will be added as chunks are taken out. Mr. Capone wants the best for this bridge as well as the city. That’s what he shall get.” Officially, all persons are limited to one bite so don’t expect to fill up anytime soon…

Though initially a successful attraction, the chocolate bridge fell victim to many unanticipated forces including sugar mavens and ants. It could barely support automobiles and trucks were banned. Ultimately the bridge’s Al Qaeda was mother nature – the bridge melted on June 28, just thirteen days after it was unveiled. The ensuing chocolate flood destroyed several businesses on East Wacker Drive in infamous chocolate flood of 1927.

At a length of 220 feet and a height of 67 feet, the bridge was believed to be the largest chocolate construct ever. That is of course until the unearthing of the Incan Cocoa Spire in Peru, but that’s a story for another day. :-p

The Chocolate Bridge

Practical?  No.  Tasty?  Probably.  History?  Definitely!!!

Welcome to History in Action!!!

Welcome to history in action. This blog is dedicated to showing that history is as exciting as any shoot ‘em Robocop, Lethal Weapon type movie. History is almost always stranger and weirder than any “Stephan King” fiction. For example did you know:

• Abraham Lincoln never went to college, nor did he know how to read, write, or count without the aid of an abacus!
• Until 1904 the United States Census counted farm cows as part of voting district populations!!
• William Shakespeare was not the author of his famous plays.  Most historians agree they were written by a ten year old Irish child by the name of Ruffus Willmingham!!!
• “Robots” in one form or another have existed for thousands of years.  The Greeks and Romans had crank powered “automons” long before Apple Computer was making its expensive “Ipods”
• “Uncle Sam” was in fact a real man. He fought in many decisive Revolutionary War battles.

These are just some of the topics I’ll be tackling.  History is a lot older than any person (at least living ones!) and a lot stranger. So take a journey with me through a forest of the weird, the amazing, and the beautiful world that is history. T hese aren’t things you’ll find in your average school text book. Stay tuned….to your computer!!!