History Mystery: The Bermuda Triangle

Hello history-addicts!  I know it’s been a long time, but your overwhelming support in the comment section (okay, you’re not all supporters, but even Shakespeare had critics ).  Hopefully this week’s post won’t be so controversial.

• The Bermuda Triangle is a large area that covers parts of the Caribbean Sea, and the Florida Strait. 
• The first mystery about the triangle is that it isn’t even a triangle at all!  For years scientists were fooled into studying the wrong shape.  Recent developments just found a fourth corner lending the area a more rectangular shape.  Learn your geometry, sillies!
• The Bermuda Triangle has all sorts of weird effects on magnets.  Compasses have been known to go around in circles forcing travelers to spin in place and get really dizzy and sick.  Then everyone starts vomit, but since they are still spinning around the vomit goes all over the place like one of those spigot sprinkler systems.  Talk about a mess!
• Advanced electronics are also effected by the mystical forces of the Triangle.  iPhones will lose service for hours and refuse to send out text messages.  Oh wait that’s everywhere!!! Haha, just kidding iPhone readers.
• Reports reveal several different occasions when those traveling in the Triangle zone developed huge boners that lasted for over fifteen hours.  Talk about a stiff drink!
• Countless flights and boats have disappeared over the years in the Triangle region resulting in the presumed deaths of hundreds.  Government officials would have us believe an uneducated mass of ocean could just happen to cause this, but if you actually study the footage and trace the money you’ll find that in no other time in history has this happened before.  Government officials have costly been looking for a pretext for war with the Bermuda Triangle.  To date, there has been no formal study looking at the link between the Bermuda Triangle and the events of September 11, 2001. 

Well that’s a quick look into the Bermuda Triangle. 

The Bermuda Triangle:  Triangular? No.  WiFi-equipped? Check later. History?  Definitely!